I Feel Like Something is Off With My Baby, but Everyone Keeps Telling Me It’s Normal

Finding yourself Googling your baby’s symptoms through the latest nonstop crying episode or when your baby just can’t be soothed without taking drastic measures is a common experience for the modern mom. We can feel it in our gut that something is off or wrong with our baby, but everyone keeps telling us it’s normal for babies to do this. Hospitals will even include information about “purple crying” in their take home folders. “Purple crying” is defined as when babies cry at an intensity that indicates some pretty significant pain and discomfort, but apparently they are doing so for no good reason at all. To be told that your baby’s cries supposedly mean nothing is the epitome of gaslighting. It makes you feel like you’re crazy. So let’s get something straight.

You are not crazy. Babies do not cry for no reason. I’m going to share with you the most common signs that should be leading you to seek help for your baby, what they can mean, and who you should see if you’ve been blown off by your provider. 

Nonstop crying

This should go without saying, crying nonstop is not normal. Crying is one of many means of communication babies use, and usually it is reserved for what feels like a more desperate situation for them- hunger, loneliness, discomfort (like from a dirty diaper, being too hot/cold, etc), and pain. When you’ve addressed the hunger, loneliness, and “routine” discomforts, that leaves pain. Common reasons for pain in babies are:

• Gas and constipation

• Reflux (which can be present even if baby isn’t fully spitting up)

• Hair tourniquets (check those fingers and toes!)

• Hip subluxations (aka slipping out of place)

• Diapers that are put on too tightly around the lower belly

• Inflammation from immune system activation, both from natural illnesses and vaccines

• Undiagnosed birth injury

• Birth tension causing musculoskeletal aches and pains

• Tension in umbilical cord remnants

• Skull bone position and tension

  
  

Your baby can’t tell you exactly what is causing them pain, but these are the most common ones that I will see in my practice. Some are easy to fix, like diapers that are too tight, whereas others require a more comprehensive approach.

Frequent back arching

A lot of people think that the little back arches that babies do can be so cute. And they can be, until they become the norm for a baby and it feels like they are constantly arching their back. If it’s accompanied by grunting, it’s an even bigger red flag that baby is having discomfort or is trying to work out tension in their body. Common reasons for back arching are:

• Constipation

• Gas

• Reflux

• Umbilical cord remnant tension

• Deep front line facial restriction

• Lumbar spine tension and discomfort

  
  

Think about what makes you naturally want to arch your back. I know for me, I tend to arch my back when my stomach is feeling full, I’ve got some bloating going on, my back is sore, or I feel tight through my abdomen and hip flexors. The same can be true for babies. 

Stiffness through the entire body

Babies are meant to be flexible, bouncy creatures. They need to be in order to learn to move their bodies and take little tumbles when they inevitably make mistakes. However, some babies are so stiff and tense, learning to move is a major challenge. Signs of excessive stiffness and tension are:

• Preferring to stand before 10mo old and having difficulty sitting

• Only lifting the head in tummy time, not progressing to pushing through the arms to get the chest and ribs off the floor

• Shoulders that are persistently elevated up to the ears

• Locked out legs during diaper changes

• Supermaning with tummy time and not moving out of that position, especially if accompanied by distress

• Deep, red, neck creases that are difficult to clean out

• Arms held tightly to the body during clothing changes

• Back persistently arched 

• Persistent sidebend or head position preference

  
  

We may see each of these things in isolated or semi-frequent instances as babies are growing. However, when we start to see baby only doing things one way or we see a combination of these behaviors in a persistent manner, it is a red flag that baby’s body is holding tension. 

Tension is most commonly a protective mechanism in response to pain or stress. Think about what you do when you have an injury- you pull that area in close and try not to move it. When we pull a muscle or sprain a joint, that area gets tight and tense. When we are anxious we can feel our abdomen tense up, our shoulders elevate, our jaws clench which are all protective measures. Babies’ bodies have the same responses to pain and emotional stressors. 

You know something is off with your baby. So what do you do about it?

The first thing to do is take a deep breath. There are providers out there who believe you, take you seriously, and won’t try to tell you that inconsolable babies are normal. You are not alone in this. 

The next thing to do is find the right provider team. You want providers who can take a holistic look at your baby and assess the entire body. Sometimes this can come from one provider, other times it needs to be pieced together with several providers. This is entirely dependent on your area and who is available. Common providers who can provide a more holistic and comprehensive approach and work well as part of a holistic team include: 

• Craniosacral therapists

• Chiropractors

• Lactation consultants

• Occupational therapists

• Physical therapists 

• Osteopaths

  
  

Sometimes, you can find providers with multiple specialties. For example, as a physical therapist I also have craniosacral and specialized pediatric bodywork training which broadens how much I can assess and treat in babies. Providers who offer a lot of hands-on manual interventions to help the body feel better and come back into balance are placed under the umbrella term of “bodyworkers.” These providers often “listen” to the body with their hands, which is especially helpful for babies since they can’t verbally tell what they are feeling.

It’s also important to note that when you are looking for a provider, you want to ask if they use their hands as an assessment tool in their practice. For example, the average physical or occupational therapist is not trained in pediatric manual techniques beyond facilitating motor skills. To assess the infant body in detail, find answers, and provide relief with just the hands requires additional training above and beyond what is provided in most schooling programs.

Local to the Waukesha area and looking for a provider who will help you find answers so you and your baby have calmer evenings? We are currently accepting new patients at Foundation Physical Therapy and would be happy to help you.

Full body, comprehensive infant assessment

FAQ

What is infant bodywork

Infant bodywork is an umbrella term that refers to providers who use primarily their hands to assess and treat the body, in this case for infants. These providers can have different specialities including: physical therapy, occupational therapy, chiropractic, craniosacral therapy, massage therapy, osteopathy. 

Do I need a referral to see a bodyworker for my baby?

Typically the answer is no. However, this is dependent on your state and the rules surrounding allied health professions. In Wisconsin, you do not need a referral to see a bodyworker.

What do I do if my baby’s pediatrician is dismissing my concerns?

If you have a provider who is dismissing you without thoroughly investigating your concerns, you always have the right to seek a second opinion. This can be from another physician, or from a provider with a different discipline. 

Dr. Sabrina Thorpe is a Doctor of Physical Therapy with a decade of clinic experience. She specializes in treating pregnant and postpartum women and their infants at Foundation Physical Therapy in Waukesha, WI.